Taking my babies to a conference

I just got back from my first conference since being a mom. And it was amazing. I had forgotten how much I had missed hanging out with my speaker friends. I connect with them so much more than the people I see every day. They get me and I feel I can just be myself around them. They also give me so much energy that being around other speakers is like a mega battery recharge for me. And being on stage, giving talks, and connecting with the audience is so much better in person than remote.

But this time it was different. I brought my babies to the conference. I was really worried about doing this as what would people think? And the voices start going off in my head. But why should I care. Cause you know, I just do. I am always just trying to fit in and the thoughts of standing out from the crowd is hard for me. Now try blending in when going to a conference with not one but two babies. yeh.

The first morning I was actually terrified. I was at breakfast in the hotel and my 8 month old twins are just really starting on solids and one decided he didn't really want to eat which meant he was going to need to be breastfed instead. I have breastfed in public before from supermarkets to the sea, but this was different. I was the only woman in the whole room and for a moment I felt uncomfortable and scared to do what I normally do. But I took a deep breath and said breastfeeding needs to be normalized, and I just fed him, and it was fine. To be honest I don't think anyone even noticed.

Then I arrived at the venue pushing a double buggy through the hall. But the response I got from people was great, and it really did make me feel like it was ok for me to be here with them. You might ask why I brought them in the first place. The answer is simple. They are now part of my life and I have no intention of leaving them behind. Plus I am still breastfeeding, and I don't have anyone else who can look after them besides my husband, who traveled with me to the conference.And two babies is not one baby so it's just harder to leave them with someone else. Basically I am not ready to.

So should kids be allowed at a conference? I have done way less speaking events because of being a mom. That is a fact. And now that I have twins I can't fly with two babies on my own so each time I go to a conference it costs me money to pay for my husbands flight, so I have to be careful when choosing which conference to go to plus I also have to think about are the flights direct and if not how long is the whole journey and at what time are the flights. So much to think about. But if I can attend a conference as a speaker and have my babies close by, so I can feed them when needed and just be there if they need me or to help out my husband, then it makes things so much easier. So why not.

I feel we can really improve the diversity at conference just by making things like this easier. I spoke with other speakers while there about this, and we talked about day care at conferences. This is a great idea but not always possible. Sometimes it could be as simple as just saying there are baby changing facilities or a parents room available. This just makes it inviting and means it's ok if you need/want to bring your baby. Let's normalize this. Let's just make things easier for parents and especially for women in tech.