First Two Years of Raising Kids and Working Fulltime

I now have two year old twins yet I also work fulltime and manage to raise my kids with no daycare or family help. Many people ask me how I do it and sometimes I even wonder myself! In this post, I want to share my experiences, challenges, and strategies for balancing work and parenthood over the past two years.

Before Kids

Before having kids my life was very different. I was doing 3 hours of sport a day. I had so much free time and I enjoyed every minute of it. I might work in the morning or go for a long cycle. Balancing things was really easy. And I traveled a lot for work attending many conferences and sometimes doing some back to back which meant traveling for 3 weeks at a time. I had a lot of time for community projects too and did a lot of mentoring. I love giving back to the community and helping others in any way I can. I never consider my job as stressful because I love what I do and sometimes I wonder how I am getting paid to do something I love so much. Don't get me wrong, there are times when there is stress and deadlines but to be honest that just pushes me to do better and I thrive under pressure.

The Transition: Becoming a Parent

I had been trying to have kids for 13 years and had gone through multiple failed rounds of fertility treatment. I had given up and focused on my career and then years later I decided to give it another shot and this time on the second round I got pregnant. Just after getting the news I flew to Romania for a conference and then to Seattle for Microsoft Build. It was still really early days and I was so worried about people finding out so I did my best to go about my day as normal as I could. I went for runs with my colleagues and friends but really monitored my heart rate and made sure I didn't push myself too much. I was so hungry but luckily there were plenty of snacks around so it just meant I was always eating. And I avoided alcohol which people didn't question too much as we were all working so hard anyway and being tired was normal as I had so many talks and things to do it was non stop so I avoided staying out late.

When I got back from Seattle is when I went for the scan and we found out it was twins and that is when I was told to slow down and not do any more running. This was a high risk pregnancy and cause of my age and twins I had to be careful so I found a gym for pregnant women ran by midwives and did pregnancy yoga and cross fit. I trained almost every day and went for many walks in the mountains which doctors told me to continue doing as my blood pressure was so good and no swollen ankles or any problems at all. I was super fit and healthy and kept as active as possible. I continued to work until 3 days before they were born when tiredness kicked in so much that I felt I wasn't giving it my all and I needed to take it easy so I did.

First Months Home

Having twins was hard. They came early at 34 weeks and we had to spend two weeks in the hospital which is another long story in itself. And once we got home as many parent knows it really is sleepless nights and constant feeding and changing nappies. I was so exhausted but luckily I had my husband home for the first 2 months so we just managed to get through it. I had been told that the first two months were the hardest so I knew if I got to that milestone then I would be able to handle the rest.

Returning to Work

I had 17 weeks of maternity leave but I was keen to get back to work sooner than later. Most people told me to take my time and not rush back but I love my job and I get to work from home and get to choose my own hours so it really makes things so much easier. I decided that if I go back to work part time I could extend the maternity leave and not have to go back fulltime until October so that is what I did after 3 months off. That meant I only had to find 4 hours to work each day which was manageable. I would work when the babies were napping or in the evening after they went to bed. I keep a super strict schedule for the boys cause I have twins so its seriously necessary. That means their bedtime is at 7pm and they sleep till 7am and then there were naps. At first it was two naps a day and then it went down to one nap a day. They started sleeping through the night at about 4 months and yes the odd time there are wake ups but nothing major.

Going back to work was great and I have to say I was working with an amazing team who were super supportive. That meant if a baby woke up or was sick or I needed to feed at a different time than planned, it wasn't a problem. Sometimes I could just turn off my camera and feed the boys or sometimes I would just leave and catch up with the team later. This meant I could keep breastfeeding right up until they were 19 months old cause I had the support and flexibility to do so.

Back to Fulltime Work

I didn't find it difficult to do 4 hours a day but when the transition came to work 8 hours it was a bit more challenging. I had to be super organized and have everything planned out. I often describe my schedule like a military operation. Every minute is planned and scheduled. I have to be super efficient with my time and make sure I am not wasting any time at all. I have a strict routine for the boys so their sleeping schedule is always the same and they sleep 14 hours a day and still do.

So how do I find 8 hours a day to work? First of all I have to say that my husband is great and when I am working and they are awake he is with the boys and when he is with the boys that might include taking them to a playground or cooking dinner or doing bath and bedtime routine. We work as a great team and that is how it works so well. With his schedule it means he is home for about 3 hours a day when they are awake. That means I can work 3 hours when he is home. 2 hours when they nap, thats 5 hours and then I only have to work 3 more hours when they are asleep in the evening. They sleep at 7 and I normally work till 11pm. Thats actually 9 hours. which gives me an hour of flexibility, incase they nap a bit less or takes longer to get them to sleep or whatever. But see its easily doable. It's just maths.

Now what that means is that when I am with the boys everything else has to be done too. That means shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, gardening, playtime, etc. I will be honest and say that I do pay for a cleaner to come once a week to really clean the house properly as it is hard to find the time to do everything and nowadays she also spends an hour putting the washing away as its easy to take it out of the dryer but I do lack time in putting it in the wardrobes. Need to work on that.

Cooking with the boys is fun. I tend to cook meals which take no longer than 15 minutes or can be put in an oven. When they were smaller they were in a bouncer and when they were 13 months they were in learning towers. My cooking was like doing a youtube video and I would constantly show them what I was doing, let them feel the vegetables, crack eggs, mix and play with pots and pans or wooden veg that they chop in half. Sometimes I cook and the kitchen floor is like a mine field with plastic plates and spoons and pots everywhere. But its manageable.

I eat when the boys eat so they had to learn to feed themselves early which they did. And I eat the same as them or they eat the same as me so that makes things much easier as its just one meal I have to cook. They eat everything from curries, to stews, fish, meat, veg etc. It is super easy to cook for them. Sometimes my kitchen is a complete mess and I just leave it for my husband to do when he gets home. Other times they play nicely and I get a few minutes to clean the kitchen. The key is to not get stressed about it. It will all get done eventually. And I am pretty good at making sure that it gets done. I never go to bed with a messy kitchen or toys not put away. That would mess up things for the next day.

Shopping can be hard and I normally only buy what can fit in the buggy and if there is bulky stuff I do that online and get it delivered or we do it at the weekend when my husband is around but I love going to the supermarket with the boys and letting them roam the aisles look for things we need. I am constantly saying, where is your brother and have taught them to always make sure they are close to each other which makes it a bit easier.

My washing machine is in the garage so that was a bit of a challenge and sometimes meant me running downstairs to put washing on and then running back up and hoping they hadn't done anything they shouldn't or weren't fighting with each other. Hanging clothes on the washing line took too much time and wasn't possible so I just threw everything in the dryer which isn't ideal but it works.

The key to raising twins is to make sure they have different things to do and that you constantly change their toys and activities so they don't get bored. I didn't actually buy a lot of toys, but instead bought climbing frames, tunnels, ride on toys, books, musical instruments and toy hoovers and mops. They love helping with chores so if I give them a job to do then I have 15 minutes of being able to get something done such as the laundry or sweeping the leaves.

Finding Time for Myself

Now you may ask where is the time for myself. Well it doesn't really exist. I sleep from 11pm till 7am and sleep great and in seconds. Sometimes I wake at 6 and do sport before they wake. Sometimes I do sport in my garage while they are napping and watch a meeting at the same time. I have often chopped vegetables while listening to a recorded meeting and anytime I can maximize my time I do. My showers are super short or are with the boys. Sometimes I also do some training while with them. I built them a climbing gym next to mine so they can climb and swing while I do some pull ups or weights or things I can do quickly and easily. It is not easy at all but I do not work weekends so at weekends I can go for a long run, or read a book or cook something that takes longer than 15 minutes.

To be honest I am used to working 2 jobs most my life and that included working weekends so having weekends free is a luxury for me. And if something were to happen during the week that I was not able to do my job then I always had the weekend to fall back on and catch up. Although I think I only ever had to do that once.

I don't watch Netflix or TV anymore. I don't have the time for it however if I do get some time I much prefer to watch some coding stuff on YouTube. It brings me more value as I learn something from it. There is too much gong on in my brain for me to sit down and watch a movie. I get bored and my mind wonders and thinks about all the other things I could be doing. I also don't spend a lot of time on social media. Your mobile in general can steal so much of your time. I do check social media a few times a day but I don't spend too much time on it and I limit myself to how many. For example I don't have instagram cause I don't want to spend time there. There are enough ways for people to follow me. Of course maybe there is a way to repost across these but I just avoid cause then its less people to keep up with too.

Traveling with Kids

I still travel a lot to conferences and I bring my kids and husband everytime. People told me at first that I won't be able to travel when I have twins and were all so negative. I think it made me more determined to make it work. The boys are two and I have lost count of the amount of flights they have been on but its over 30 at this stage. They have been to America twice, once for Microsoft Build and the other for a team week in San Francisco. On that trip we took a few weeks holidays and did a road trip from Los Angeles to Joshua Tree national park the to the Grand Canyon were we stayed in a cabin then on to Las Vegas, then Yosemite National Park and then to San Francisco to work for a week. The boys were 1 year old and therefore it was pretty easy to travel with them. It just meant lots of planning and being super organized but also going with the flow. We didn't have hotels booked and would plan to arrive to a town but if we didn't make it then we just stopped somewhere else and that worked really well for us.

When we travel to events where I have to work then my husband takes the boys to playgrounds, childrens museums or just parks while I am working. Sometimes I do get jealous that he gets to do such cool things with the boys while we are away but I also ensure that we do have some family time too so that I am not just working and we also get to see the sights together and have those memories as a family. I am very lucky in that my husband gets a lot of time off form work, much more than I do so that helps a lot. Yes we do have the extra expense of flights and food etc while away but it is so worth it as the boys get to see the world and experience new things. So I intend to keep traveling with them until it becomes too much hassle. But for now it works and we all have fun. Tiring for sure but life is tiring anyway with kids so why not travel, meet new people and have new experiences.

Unexpected Wins

I was very worried about under performing when returning to work after maternity leave. Could I give it my all. Would I be able to have the energy to do everything I needed to do both in work and outside of work. Yet not only did I manage to do an amazing job but I also got promoted during this time which is wild when I think about it and just proves that you really are capable of anything when you give it your all.

The boys are now 2. Things are so much easier. They are potty trained so no more nappies. They are still sleeping great. They eat anything and love going to restaurants. We go out at least once a day on bikes or scooters and they love adventure. They now play together and entertain each other and therefore I have more time to get things done. I have a system that works and that I have learnt from mistakes and adapted as the boys grew cause everything changes and it constantly will. Being ready to embrace change and new challenges is key to success in everything we do. I am a multitasker and with twins I also have octopus arms and super fast eyes as have to watch two little people often running in different directions. Life is fun and busy and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Looking ahead

As this new year has just started along with it will bring new challenges and soon hopefully a new job, working with new people and learning new skills. I am very grateful for the fact that I can work remote and that I have worked with people who care and who allow me to put my family first. I think because of the weird working schedule I do, it allows me to do my best work because I never feel I am missing out on anything. I get to be there for my kids but I also get to work and do what I love. My office is right next to the playroom so even if I am in the office for a long block of time I can still see them or take a 5 minute break and say hi. This is so good for mental health. Also between my working hours when I am with the boys I completely switch off and I am surrounded by nature or by them and that recharges me so much. I think having that balance is so important. I don't think I would do as good a job if I was expected to sit in an office for 8 hours a day.

Conclusion

Life has been crazy busy since having kids but I managed to find a balance that works for me and my family. It requires careful planning, flexibility, and a supportive partner, but it is definitely possible to raise kids while working fulltime, if you have the right job and flexibility of hours. Remote work works for me but might not work for everyone. Plus I have a separate space where I can work and that helps a lot. For me the key is to stay organized, prioritize your time as much as possible, and embrace the chaos that comes with parenthood especially with twins. Looking back at the past two years, I am proud of what I have accomplished both as a parent and a professional, it has been exhausting, I won't lie, but it sure has been a lot of fun and I look forward to many more years of chaos and fun.

If you ever want to chat about parenthood and working fulltime feel free to reach out to me. If you are thinking of becoming a parent and are worried about juggling both, know that it is possible and totally worth it.