What its like to do a live stream, why it scares me and why I know the only way to get over fear is to keep doing it again and again.
If any of you have watched my Live Streams you might think "Wow, she has so much energy and is so confident. I could never do what she does". But if you only knew. You see for me live streams are exciting. I love them but they scare the hell out of me. It is where you expose yourself to the world and literally say, "this is me and this is how I do things". No editing no nothing. People live just watching over your shoulders and it is terrifying.
Because I love it. I love connecting with people and I love sharing my knowledge with the world. Just sometimes I really feel that I do not have enough to share. That the wold already nows what I know and that I am not going to teach them anything new. Yes, Imposter Syndrome is something I deal with every day. I also am aware that I do not know everything and I am not the best developer in the world. I have so much more to learn and improve.
But I can do two things. I can either just give up and say "What's the point in me doing live streams if other people can do it better!". Or I can just keep doing it and every time I do it I will get better and better and before I know it I will be as confident and comfortable as Jason Lengstorf, James Quick and Eddie Jaroude.
We always compare ourselves to others in such a way that it's just not good. I mean it would be like someone in football comparing themselves to Messi. I mean most people want to be Messi but it would be impossible to compare yourself to him. The same goes for Live Streaming. Jason Lengstorf has been doing it for years and for sure his first streams were not like his streams of today. And we all have to take that into account. Of course that doesn't help when you are the one about to go out and do the live stream. The world is watching and the pressure is one.
However the world is not such a bad place after all. At least I have been lucky in that the people who come to watch are good people who are just trying to learn more and are really very supportive and understand you are giving your time to them so they can learn with no cost at all. Sometimes we forget that and try to deliver a perfect product and perfection isn't normal so we shouldn't try to be it.
I personally love when I go live and people put likes in the chat and say Hi. I read every single message and see every single like and it gives me so much more energy.
Today I had a great chat with a friend of mine who also told me he is afraid of doing Live Streams. It really is incredible how people you admire are also suffering from the same thing as you. They also fear they are not good enough. Imagine if we all felt that and then we all just didn't do live streams or share knowledge. The virtual world for sure would be a very sad place.
We are all in this together, we are all still learning and improving. The only way to grow is to do the things that make us feel uncomfortable. I want to improve my coding so much. I know I am not the best and I have so much to learn. Learning in front of people is scary as hell but I am going to keep doing it. I mean what is the worst that can happen? If things go really bad I could always just pretend to lose internet. Ohhh and now you know my secret for if I fail. But you see the more we fail at things the more we improve and the more we get things wrong the more we grow and succeed.
My goal is to improve at live streams. My goal this year is to be a better me. To share more with people so they can perhaps have a better life, get a better job or just feel better about themselves. I was lucky to have an amazing mentor who helped me on my coding journey and many people who constantly helped me out when I was stuck on coding challenges. To give back to the community costs nothing and if we all just help one person a day the world really will be a better place.
And if you are thinking that you want to do something but are afraid then don't be. Just do it. We all feel the same. And Actually we made a new rule today. If you say you will do things 3 times then either do it or stop putting on your list of things to do. Taking the step is always hard but if you don't take it you will never grow.
Feel free to follow me on YouTube and make sure you say hi when I am live. All messages and emojis are very much appreciated. I still haven't figured out how to schedule or program things. Am still just figuring things out but one day I will look back at this post and appreciate how far I have come.